Nanay, my lola, passed away just before Christmas. It was a sad time for us. I also realized a person cannot die with dignity. Once dead, you are wrapped in a blanket, stationed near the hospital exit awaiting pickup from the morgue, and referred to as a cadaver. You have a window of four hours from the time of death until you become cold and rigid. Meaning, di na nila mababago position mo (unless they break something).
My sister called me up 2AM in the morning crying. Yung pag-ring pa lang ng phone in that unholy hour, I knew already she was gone.
My lola was brought to the hospital after suffering a stroke. Di na sya nakakadilat nor nakapagsasalita but she would shed tears whenever any one from family would talk to her. She also cried when the nurse inserted a feeding tube through her nose. I couldn’t bear to watch. Di ko rin sya makausap kasi naiiyak ako so I had to leave the room and just told Jor-el to talk to her for me. A priest also came to visit her. She died six hours after.
During the funeral, all of my lola’s four children were asked to eulogize. Dahil nasa Amerika si Mommy, ako na lang daw. I stood up and just bawled. Di rin ako nakapagsalita.
A tula made by Nanay on the occasion of Mommy’s grand 55th birthday celebration in 1994.
Ako'y hindi makata
at hindi marunong tumula
Sa araw na ito
araw na dakila
Ako'y nagsaisip
ako'y nagsadiwa
At pinalad namang makalikha
ng isang maikling tula
Buong puso ko itong iniaalay
sa iyong kaarawan, aking anak
Sa iyong kaarawan
ako'y nagpupugay
Pumpon ng bulaklak
sa iyo'y iaalay
At aking dalangin
sa Poong Maykapal
Pakalooban ka pa
ng maligaya, mahabang buhay
Ang bulaklak na ito
aking pinitas
Tinuhog upang sa leeg mo'y
aking ikwintas
Hindi maluluoy, hindi malalanta
di matutuyo
Pagkat yan ay galing
sa hardin ng aking puso
Ako'y walang ginto, pilak
sa iyo'y iaalay
Kundi ang walang katapusang
pagmamahal
Mundo man ay maglaho,
mundo man ay magunaw
Kailaman ay taglay ko
ay ganyang pagmamahal
Anak, hilingin mo man sa akin
ang bundok ng sinukuan
Sapilitan aking kukunin upang
sa yapak mo ay aking ialay
